The Joys of Parenthood

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Ahhhh, the joys of parenthood. The laughter, the tears, the snuggles, the love. Few things in life can compare to being a parent. It is one of the most rewarding and fulfilling, yet infuriating things that you will ever do in your life. And while parenting can be a truly unique experience, there are definitely more than a few things about parenthood that most Moms and Dads can relate to. These relatable moments are the things that bring us all together as parents. They are the moments that remind us that we’re all just doing our best. They are the moments that beg the question, “Are you even a parent?

1.You find mystery stains around the house on a regular basis

This is by far one of the least glamorous parts of parenthood, but unfortunately it is also one of the most common. It also happens to be the reason that most people have the belief that you can either have children or have nice things; you can’t have both. Although, I will say that these mystery stains can turn into a pretty fun and interesting game with your spouse. I personally like to call it, ‘Juice stain, dried booger, or blood?‘.

  1. You find yourself asking “why is this sticky?” more often than you’d like to admit

Why is everything always so sticky!? It literally makes no sense. I keep baby wipes in every room of my house, and still the mystery of the random sticky substance continues on. And if I’m being completely honest, most days I think I’d rather stick to not knowing what the gooey substance really is. Some things are truly better left unknown.

  1. You’re constantly reminding the little cohabitants of your house to flush the toilet

I cannot tell you how many times I walk into the bathroom to an unflushed toilet. So much so, that I don’t even know anymore if the kids are the culprit or my husband. Both are equally guilty and equally irritating. I’m seriously considering posting a reminder sign at this point, or offering flush rewards…

  1. Your refrigerator is full of a variety of meal choices, each with little nibbles taken from them

One of the most bizarre things about parenthood is your child’s ability to completely change their dietary preferences on a daily basis. It is both obnoxious and down right infuriating. It also leads to a RIDICULOUS amount of leftovers that go uneaten because, “I don’t like it. Yuck.” Thankfully for me, I married a garbage pit for a husband, so extra food scarcely goes wasted.

  1. Candy is a go-to negotiation tool

Now I’m not saying that I could be a professional hostage negotiator, but I am fairly certain that I could convince someone to bend to my will, especially if that someone is under five and loves the sweet sensation of a good sugar high. We’ve all done it, and if you haven’t you should try it. Candy makes the world go round for most kiddos, and sometimes as parents we just can’t afford to pass up a good bargaining tool.

  1. You burn more calories getting everyone in your household into bed than you would at a gym

Do not waste your money on gym memberships and diet plans you’ll never utilize because you’re too busy with the kiddos. Bedtime routines will do just the trick, especially if you’re a parent of multiple children. The more tiny minions you have, the more calories you burn. The lifting, the tucking, the chasing, the silent ninja crawl out of the room. All those killer moves are more than enough to keep your heart rate up.

  1. You’re impervious to the pain of stepping on little toys because you’ve done it so many times

After you’ve completely damaged the nerves in your feet, you become immune to the pain of those horrifying little plastic pieces. And if you don’t,  you just accept the fact that stepping on Legos is a part of life. I’ve found that it makes it a little less painful once you just accept it.

  1. No matter how much you clean, your house still looks like a tornado ripped through it

I will never understand how nothing is ever clean after you have kids. Try as you may, once you tidy a room, those tornado children will blow through along with all their books, toys, not to mention the crumbs and stains from all the snacks. Resistance is futile, just accept that nothing will be truly clean ever again. Well, at least until the college years.

  1. You lie about the spiciness of your food so you don’t have to share

I fear the day that my child realizes that mommy’s cookies and snacks aren’t as spicy as I’ve alluded to. But until then, all my favorite meals are “far too spicy for you honey. You won’t like it”. I mean I’ve already had to share my body with these tiny parasites, can’t a gal enjoy her meal in peace?

  1. You can recite all the words to at least one children’s TV show

Why are the songs so catchy!? It’s like they infect your brain, and before you know it, you’re singing Baby Shark or the Bluey theme song while you’re driving to work or walking around the grocery store. And the worst part is, once it’s in your brain, it’s there for life no matter what you do to get it out.

Now if you can’t relate to any of these parenting moments, I’d venture to say you either have imaginary children or they’re aliens. And if you can relate, take solace in the fact that moms and dads everywhere are on the same wild rollercoaster ride that is raising children. We all have no clue what we’re doing. We’re just holding on to the ride for dear life.

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You can follow Brittney on her website www.ShesTheHonestMom.com or on social media @ShesTheHonestMom

 

 

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